What can we do when we try to correct behavior and the student says, "What? I wasn't doing anything?" or, "You are being so unfair! She had her phone out and you didn't say anything to her!"
This happens in every classroom, no matter how good or bad the teacher is. Trust me, it most likely has nothing to do with you! Don't blame yourself when students talk back; it's not you, it's them. They are responsible for their own behavior.
STRATEGY #1: DO NOTHINGIn cases of really nasty back talk, the very best thing you can do is nothing. That's right, don't do anything at all, don't say anything at all. Just look at the student. A verbal response very often is a mistake; it creates almost a circus side show that entertains the rest of the class. Talk to the student after class and issue a consequence if necessary.Here are two of the best articles I have found relating to this issue and I highly recommend reading them in their entirety:1. Calm Is Strength; Don't Respond To Backtalk, by Fred Jones2. Nasty Backtalk, by Fred Jones:"To review, the correct short-term response has to do with the fight-flight reflex. Take two relaxing breaths, remain quiet, and deliver some withering boredom. If you are in your cortex, you can use good judgment and choose a long-term response that fits the situation. If, however, you are in your brainstem, judgment is out of the question. Consequently, if you succeed in the short-term, you will probably succeed in the long-term.Your lack of an immediate response is very powerful body language. It tells the student, among other things, that you are no rookie. You have heard it all a thousand times. If the student runs out of gas and takes refuge in getting back to work, count your blessings, and consider getting on with the lesson. You can always talk to the student after class. Do not worry that students will think, 'Mr. Jones didn't do anything about Larry's profanity.' Give them some credit for social intelligence. They just saw Larry try the big one and fail. They saw you handle it like an old pro. And they learned that profanity is useless in this classroom as a tool for getting the best of the teacher."STRATEGY #2: BROKEN RECORDRepeat your instructions if the student tries to argue his/her way out of compliance. ("Broken Record" technique). Repeat your instructions, verbatim, every time the student tries to argue. Repeat. Let's imagine that the bell is about to ring, you have given clean-up instructions, and you see little Linda and her friends hanging out in the back of the room, talking. You look over to see that, yes indeed, the table is still a mess.
- Teacher: "Girls, it's time to clean up your table." All the girls move to comply except one. Little Linda continues to stand where she is, she pretends not to hear you, and strikes up a conversation with someone else.
- Teacher: (moving closer to Linda, maybe even tapping her on the arm), says, "Linda, I need your help to clean up."
In my classroom, the student will receive another consequence for continuing to argue - s/he will be sent to the isolation table and will fill out the "Think Sheet" and/or will write an essay about respect. The student could also be "written up" for talking back and being generally disrespectful, and for defiance if she actually refuses to clean up her table.
- Linda: “In a minute – I have to talk to my friend/do my nails/etc.”
- Teacher: standing still and straight, looking directly at the student, calmly and firmly says in a low voice, “Clean up your table, now.”
- Linda: rolling her eyes, “In a minute, sheesh!”
- Teacher: “Clean up your table.”
- Linda: with an attitude, in a slightly louder voice, “I don’t have to do what you say! You’re not my mother!”
- Teacher: “Clean up your table.”
- Linda: snorts, stomps, mutters under her breath, and then goes to clean up her table.
The number one rule in my classroom is to "Be Respectful; Obey the First Time Without Arguing or Talking Back." All of my students are familiar with my rules and they know that I will not tolerate back talk. So, when I respond, it is to either tell the student not to talk back (give a warning) or to send the student to the hallway, immediately, because s/he crossed the line into belligerance and/or a temper tantrum. I am not perfect, I make mistakes, and I teach my students that if they don't agree with me they can talk to me after class. This behavior, "talking back," is the student's attempt to manipulate the teacher in order to get out of trouble and/or to get his/her way. It is not respectful to argue with the teacher or pitch fits. Period.
In my experience, arguing and back talk happens much more often when I get complacent and forget to be consistent. Kids will push against boundaries, especially wiggly ones, and they will push even harder when they have gotten away with the behavior in the past. They know that persistence can pay off! Many adults in their lives will give in to their demands, just to keep the peace, which makes our job in the classroom a wee bit more difficult.
FURTHER RESOURCES:
How To Keep Your Cool, by Michael Linsin
11 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Lose Your Cool, by Michael Linsin
Smile, Breathe Easy, and Don't Let the Stress Get To You, by Michael Linsin
"Taking poor student behavior personally sends the message to your students that they can push your buttons and disrupt your day if they choose. This shifts control over to your students and weakens your ability to manage your classroom. When you react out of anger, you are inviting, even daring, disrespect. Back anyone into a corner, and they’ll want to fight back or resolve to get even. Butting heads with students always results in more bad behavior. You must have a bit of shrewdness in you when it comes to classroom management and understand that the most effective classroom management strategies don’t always jibe with our most natural reactions. So when a student is blatantly disrespectful, especially in front of the rest of your students, it is only natural to take it personally. It’s how we’re wired. But if you can take a step back and realize you’re shooting yourself in the foot every time you react on instinct, then you can gain immediate control of the situation without losing your cool—or your authority. So how should you react? The most effective way to handle disrespect is to simply and dispassionately follow your classroom management plan and enforce a consequence. Enforcing your classroom rules—which should include a rule specifically for disrespectful behavior—with an attitude of indifference strengthens your authority and your classroom management effectiveness." How To Handle Disrespectful Students, by Michael Linsin"Management of discipline problems in the classroom is first and foremost emotional. You will never be able to control a classroom until you are first in control of yourself.When you are calm, you can bring all of your wisdom, experience, and social skills to bear in solving a problem. But, when you are upset, you can only focus on the threat that is upsetting you, and your response will be primitive -- a fight-flight reflex with an angry voice.It is hard enough to stay calm with the normal foolishness of a classroom. Your acid test, however, will be backtalk."
article by Mrs. Anna Nichols
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